Why Europeans Roll Their Eyes at American Enthusiasm and What We’re Missing Out On
“I don’t get it,” my American expat client, Sarah, told me. “I said I’m really excited about a new project and my European colleague listed everything that could go wrong. Talk about killing the vibe!”
It took me straight back to my recent trip to Florida where people seem. To be consciously choosing a positive lens.
Yes, we Europeans tend to roll our eyes at American enthusiasm, assuming they are too loud, too exaggerating … just too much.
In cafés and Ubers I kept hearing: “I love my job!”, “You look awesome!”, “Have an amazing day!”.
Whist It did feel like being spoken to in billboard advertising language at times, It made me smile most of the times.
Could it be, dare I say, working?
Why Europeans Lean Toward “Realism”
Europe didn’t get to where it is by assuming everything would work out fine. Our cultural nervous system was built on:
• Survival-based history
Europe is “ever so slightly” older than America with a slightly stronger CV in: wars, invasions, pandemics, financial collapses, borders moving. Taking big risks hasn’t always ended well here, so dreaming big feels a bit dangerous.
• Protection disguised as pessimism
Pointing out problems is often a form of our love language: “I care about you, so let me show you all the ways this could go terribly wrong.” We feel responsible for helping others avoid disappointment.
• Belief that enthusiasm = vulnerability
If you expect too much and it doesn’t work, you get hurt. So the trick is: never hope too loudly. Optimism feels like leaving the door open for heartbreak.
Europe learned to lead with caution because caution kept us alive. It’s ancestral risk management.
What We Can Learn From Americans
Celebrate first, feel the joy in the present moment
Americans allow joy to happen first — and preferably out loud. Hope and possibility are prioritised. There is a nervous-system benefit here:**** excitement fuels motivation and signals safety.
Make compliments a normal language
Americans compliment strangers like it’s a national sport. Europeans often support people quietly, in our heads. But being seen, even for something tiny, helps the body relax and trust connection.
Dream with less apology
Americans can say: “How exciting is this project! It’s gonna be great!”. Allowing yourself to dream without pre-emptive shame frees up energy for actually making it happen. It’s a form of self-compassion and your encouragement for authenticity.
Conclusions
Realism can save your life. Optimism can help you actually enjoy it.
If you’re European, try once a week: “Nice shoes. No, I’m not joking.”
And have yourself an awesome day!
If you’re navigating these perspectives as an expat, therapy can be a gentle bridge between mindsets—a grounded space to practice both realism and hope.