How “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk Can Help You Understand Trauma, Anxiety and Emotional Patterns?
“Where do you feel stress in your body?”
“Not sure… maybe in my chest?”
“How does your jaw, shoulders, chest or gut feel?”
“Tight… not sure.”
Most people don’t actually know where they feel stress.
So pause for a second. Bring a recent stressful moment into your mind’s eye and… feel.
Not think.
Feel.
What is your body telling you right now?
This is exactly what Bessel van der Kolk explores in The Body Keeps the Score — why emotions don’t just live in your mind but show up as sensations, patterns and physical habits in your body.
Trauma isn’t just in your head
It shows up as:
tension
breath changes
posture shifts
shutdown
jaw clenching
gut tightness
chest pressure
You can calm your thoughts… but your cortisol, nervous system and muscle memory may still be activated.
Your body isn’t the problem, it’s the messenger.
It carries the stories your mind learned to minimise.
That ache, that knot, that tight chest?
Sometimes it’s not “random.” Sometimes it’s your internal alarm system doing its job… just a little too well.
One core idea:
Your body keeps the score of what happened to you — not to punish you, to protect.
Maybe you can relate:
Your chest tightens in certain meetings
Your jaw aches at night
You can’t switch off even when you’re safe
A smell or song drops you back in time
Your stomach reacts before your thoughts do
Being present means noticing both the uncomfortable and the steady, warm or spacious sensations.
This is how you rebuild trust with your body.
Why talking alone isn’t enough
Talking is important — but if the imprint is in your body, then your body must be part of the healing.
That’s why approaches like:
EMDR
Breathwork
Somatic therapy
Mindful breathing
Yoga
Creative therapies
Neurofeedback
…help your nervous system feel safe again, not just think safe.
“The only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going on inside ourselves.” — Bessel van der Kolk
What you can try right now
You don’t need an hour. Little and often works.
1. Ground to the room
5–4–3–2–1:
5 things you see
4 you feel
3 you hear
2 you smell
1 you taste
2. Breathe for safety
In for 4, out for 6–8.
Longer exhales = calming your vagus nerve.
3. Orient + un-shrug
Slowly look left and right.
Drop shoulders.
Unclench jaw.
Soften hands.
4. One-minute sit
Hands on belly or heart.
Return kindly each time your mind wanders.
5. Journal or draw
Use: “What happened to me?”
You’re building safety through micro-moments.
You are doing well.
Ready to explore deeper healing?
If this book sparked curiosity or recognition — you’re not alone.
“It takes enormous trust and courage to allow yourself to remember.” — Bessel van der Kolk
Trauma can be worked through.
Your body can learn safety again.
And you don’t have to do it alone.
Read The Body Keeps the Score.
You won’t regret it.