How “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk Can Help You Understand Trauma, Anxiety and Emotional Patterns?

“Where do you feel stress in your body?”

“What do you mean in my body?”

Most of us don’t actually know how we experience stress physically because we spend years living from the neck up. Yet, we very much do.

Try this: Close your eyes. Take one deep breath in. Sigh it out. Now think of a recent stressful moment and see if you can feel where the tension lands in your body.

Chest? Jaw? Belly? Shoulders? Anywhere else? Are you able to help it relax?

Whilst you are at it, here is what Bessel van der Kolk in his famous book The Body Keeps the Score wants you to know:

• Trauma isn’t just in your head. It shows up as sensations and patterns in your body: tension, breath, posture, startle. When we experience stress, our body is a silent witness dealing with numerous physical processes alongside a mind that’s racing. While you may succeed at calming your thoughts, we often forget to help the body soften and return to a steady baseline. It’s like it did not get the memo. Well, it didn’t.

• Healing is a whole-body process. When you take your mind and soul to therapy, your body comes too. You’re a team. Healing requires both biological repair and psychological/emotional adjustment.

• Your body is talking to you all the time. It’s like a secret language with a caring friend. That back ache you blamed on gardening might also be your body saying, “I’m bracing all day from money worries and the weight I’m carrying.” Your back is what you want to lean on but right now it can’t. Because you do not hear what this pain it trying to tell you.

When Your Body Carries On Trauma: Physical Effects

Common physical signs of chronic stress or unresolved trauma can be:

• muscle tension and aches, digestive issues (bloating, cramps, IBS-type symptoms) headaches or migraines, insomnia or restless sleep, permanent fatigue and low energy.

• Research links trauma to higher risk of long‑term health issues, including autoimmune conditions, heart disease, chronic pain and gut problems.

When the nervous system stays in fight–flight–freeze, stress hormones keep pumping, breathing and heart rate stay on alert and the immune system can become suppressed or dysregulated.

Healing trauma is not only about feeling better emotionally, it’s about letting the body recover and reduce future health risks.

Why Your Body Needs More Than Words

That’s why approaches like EMDR, somatic therapy, yoga, mindful breathing, meditation, creative therapies and neurofeedback matter. They help your nervous system feel safe again in your body, not only your thoughts.

Safety is also relational. Co‑regulation also happens with people: talking in a group, joining a class, playing as a team or simply being with someone steady helps your system re‑sync.

Your brain tells the story. Your body has to physically experience it.

If this feels unfamiliar or a bit strange, you’re definitely not alone. Most of us start here.

“Neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going inside ourselves.” — Bessel van der Kolk

Quick things you can try right now for 1 minute each to start giving your body a break:

1. Breathe like someone who wants their nervous system to chill: In for 4, hold for 6, out for 8. This pattern will communicate your body that you are safe to relax.

2. Un-shrug yourself: Drop shoulders. Relax tongue. Unclench jaw. Move your neck. Feel where the tension is the strongest, tend to it.

3. Sensing: Dive into all sensations. Smell the air, touch something, notice the temperature in your nostrils, notice if you like the aroma. Feel the temperature of the room on your face. Listen to the sounds around you. Connect with your surroundings.

4. Count time: Little self-hypnosis. Just count slowly 1-60 out loud without rushing, listening to your own voice, imagining these numbers in your mind, allowing yourself to relax deeper and deeper.

5. Journal/doodle: Swap: “What’s wrong with me?” for “What happened to me?”. Let the pen do its thing. Less shame, less expectations. Just “flush” down thoughts and feelings on the paper and let your subconscious do its thing. Unload.

Do what feels doable right now. You’re practising trust with your body. Consistency counts.

“It takes enormous trust and courage to allow yourself to remember.” — Bessel van der Kolk

It’s easy to underestimate these tiny steps: counting out loud, dropping your shoulders, noticing a scent. That’s what The Body Keeps the Score helps unlock: real hope, a little more self-compassion, more consistency with attention to self and a starting point for healing that feels possibleIs right here.

Just “gyming” is not going to cut it. Your body is a part of your healing team and it’s been waiting for you to pick up this book.

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